[ot-caption title=”Sophomore Rachel Rutstein hides from the uniform policy. (via Ava Goldstone, freshman)” url=”https://pcpawprint.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/photo-1.jpg”]

Eighty years ago this school was founded on three principles: education, character, leadership. However, our school motto has somehow evolved, shaped by decades of weathering and influence.

Education. Character. College Shirts on Mondays.

The Student Handbook states that “collared Pine Crest shirts must be worn on Mondays through Fridays, with the additional option of spirit shirts on Fridays.” Only seniors may wear college outerwear starting from December 1, and college shirts are only to be worn on Fridays. Underclassmen are expected to wear Pine Crest outerwear from the spirit store on cold weather days. In addition, according to the handbook, “students are encouraged to tuck shirts fully into shorts, pants, or skorts.”

A survey was conducted this week, asking 12 students to count how many uniform infractions they had.

The results were a total of two underclassmen wearing college shirts, two people wearing nonuniform jackets, one person wearing a spirit shirt on a Wednesday, and one pair of nonuniform shorts.

For Seniors, it is clear the infractions are a result of acute senioritis as the last semester of high school comes to a close.

“My shirt wasn’t ironed, and I didn’t do laundry. So that’s why I’m not wearing a Pine Crest jacket. Or a collared shirt. I don’t know.” says Senior Alexandra Fouquet.

Underclassmen, under immense pressure from upcoming AP exams, are also beginning to crack and rebel against the policy.

Junior Nicole Thraum says, “I’m not out of uniform though? This is a collared shirt.” When shown the Student Handbook policy on tucking shirts in, she says, “I didn’t even know that was a rule.”

Students are not the only violators of the policy. When asked why she never wears Pine Crest jackets, new faculty member Señora Padilla answers, “Porque soy de Nueva York. Me gusta el estilo, y no quiero usar uniformes.”

Math teacher Mr. Solomon, chronic violator of untucked shirts, answers, “I don’t even go here. Also, they don’t sell Panther shirts at Kohl’s. Anyway, it’s Fun Day Friday.”

The conclusion of this investigation is that spirit shirts on Monday through Thursdays have become an epidemic. Sophomores in Harvard sweaters have become commonplace. The lost-and-found piles higher with discarded Pine Crest outerwear. Seniors wear college shirts on every day except for Friday. 

There will likely only be salvation in the new school year, when the cycle will repeat itself all over again.

Reader’s Note: This story is satirical in nature and was published in a special April Fools’ issue.