s[ot-caption title=”We know our teachers inside the classroom, but outside of PC, it turns out they have real lives. Mind blown. (via Sabine Katsoulos, junior)”]

Our minds all experience that same shock when we encounter our teachers outside of school.  We wonder, “What are they doing here, outside of the Pine Crest premises? What do you mean they need to eat? They need to purchase food for their families? They drink Trop 50 Orange Juice?! Are those flip flops?”  We work tirelessly to comprehend this reality. Well, according to a recent study, it turns out teachers are, in fact, real people. I know for many of you this comes as quite a shock. Here at the Pine we have some pretty awesome and interesting teachers. I asked several of them a series of questions and requested that they be completely honest and open with me in their responses.

What is your preferred toilet paper brand?

Dr. Wu: “I don’t use.”

Ms. Alexanderson: “Well, I don’t have a favorite toilet paper brand. But, my favorite brand of tissues is Vicks Kleenex, no doubt. It really opens your sinuses.  

I always find myself wondering what my teachers do in their free time. Do they take relaxing strolls on the beach? Do they watch Tasty food videos? Do they hang out with friends? What you do in your free time says a lot about you. I asked teachers what their favorite pastimes were, and this is how they responded.

Mr. Spitzig: “I love going to soak my feet in water baths while tiny cod fish nibble the dead skin off. I guess I also enjoy video games.”

Ms. Alexanderson: “Definitely underwater basket weaving.”

Dr. Wu: “Slicing chairs like Ivanna Sheinberg and watching soap operas.”

After some small talk, we got down to business, and I asked them the more difficult questions. They struggled a little bit with the responses, but eventually they shared some pretty unexpected fun facts.

What type of music do you enjoy?

Mr. Spitzig: “You know that crunching noise you used to hear when you opened up the Internet on your Dial Up Modem Computer? Well, that is what actually drove me to pick up my first pair of drumsticks and start makin’ some music.”

Dr. Wu: “Rap. I hope to attend a Fetty Wap concert soon.”

Ms. Alexanderson: “Hoodie Allen and Dave Mathews. I’m patiently awaiting the day they make a joint album.” 

What is your favorite app/website?

Ms. Rice: “Well, I still have a STEAM account from middle school; the username is kdogg954.”

Mr. Spitzig: “Oh, this is easy: First Class. It is the first thing I look at when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I look at before I go to sleep.”

What are two words that describe yourself?

Ms. Alexanderson: “I try.”

Mr. Spitzig: “Awesome and humble. Drops mic.”

I’m sure you readers will be relieved to discover that your teachers stalk their celebrity obsessions, too. You are not alone! Who knows, you might even end up bonding over your love for Rebel Wilson. We got the inside scoop.

Who is your celebrity crush?

Dr. Wu: “I would say Zac Efron.”

Ms. Rice: “Stabler from Law and Order SVU.”

If you could meet any person dead or alive who would it be?

Dr. Wu: “Bruce Lee, martial arts genius.”

Mr. Spitzig: “Cynthia Wu and Thomas Jefferson. But, fun fact: Thomas Jefferson is a distant relative of mine. So, technically if I were able to meet him, I wouldn’t exist.”

Mrs. Sollitto: “Ellen DeGeneres.”

We all have those traumatic experiences from our childhood, the ones we try to push to the back of our minds, the ones our families and friends make fun of us for. No matter how hard we try, these things change us, for better or for worse. Our teachers, too, have vivid memories that they are reluctant to share. In spite of this reluctance, I was able to convince them to share some stories.

Ms. Rice: “My mom shut my arm in the door of a car- somehow it locked with my arm stuck inside. My mom didn’t notice, went inside, and eventually realized I didn’t follow her in.”

Mrs. Sollitto: “One time when I was little, I went to the doctor to get a shot and I hid under a desk. They had to search the entire office to find me! My scheme was almost a success.” 

Ms. Alexanderson: “I hate bananas because of my childhood.”

Mr. Curran: “I was bit and trampled by a dog as a child. Now even those yippy yappy Chihuahuas give me the heebie jeebies.”

Maybe this article contained the answers to some of your biggest questions; maybe it changed your perspective. But then again, you may still be in denial that your teachers are real people…with first names. It is quite a shocker that teachers actually listen to music, text their friends, get stuck in cars, or have celebrity crushes. After all, they never venture outside of their Pine Crest classrooms. Right?