When you think about social media, what comes to mind? Maybe it’s a funny video that made you laugh during a stressful day. Maybe it’s scrolling through stories at midnight, half-distracted, half-comparing yourself to everyone else. For most of us, it’s both: the good and the not-so-good, often all at once.
That tension is exactly what inspired this column, Thrive By Social – a space dedicated to helping teens and young adults rethink the way we use social media. Instead of focusing on “less screen time,” the goal here is to explore practical ways to make scrolling healthier, more intentional, and – most importantly – more connected.
For this first column, I want to share one of my favorite toolkits: the IRL (In Real Life) Boost Challenge.
Goal: Use what you see online to make a real-life moment better.
How it works:
Think of one person you follow who’s going through something – whether it’s exciting, stressful, or somewhere in between.
Instead of liking or replying to their story, reach out directly. Text them, call them, or talk to them in person. Show them you noticed.
Say something like:
“Hey, I saw your post – just wanted to say I’m proud of you.”
“I’ve been thinking about you – want to hang soon?”
“That post made me laugh! Thanks for sharing it.”
It sounds simple, but the effect is powerful. Social media is full of almost-connection: likes, emojis, quick reactions. But those don’t always translate into real support or real friendship. By turning one of those digital moments into an actual conversation, you’re building the kind of connection that lasts.
Think about the last time someone reached out to you, not with a comment or a like, but with a real message. Chances are, it made you feel seen. It probably stuck with you longer than any notification. That’s the point of the IRL Boost Challenge: shifting from passive to active, from surface-level to genuine. It’s not about rejecting social media altogether; it’s about using it as a starting place for real-world connections. When I tried this toolkit myself, I realized how often I settle for the easy “double tap.” Sending a quick text instead felt riskier, but it always led to something better: a plan to hang out, a deeper conversation, or just a smile I wouldn’t have seen otherwise.
Because connection shouldn’t stop at the screen.
For more ideas and small ways to bring online connection into real life, I created Thrive By Social (thrivebysocial.org), a website offering short, easy-to-try toolkits that tackle common challenges like comparison, overwhelm, and burnout. Each challenge is designed to remind us that social media doesn’t have to drain us; when used thoughtfully, it can actually enrich our lives.
